Whenever I am trying to keep myself on track I close my eyes and picture my nous. The first time I did this, I imagined that I was physically inside my heart. When I looked around there was a small pool, about the size of a fountain, with black water. At first glance I took it for what it was, a dark pool. I had neither positive or negative feelings toward the pool. I was not even sure the purpose of the pool or if there was water inside or some other mysterious oily substance.
I have been “visiting” my nous for just over a year now. Every time I would find it looking exactly as I described above. After the marathon I decided to take a closer look and try to determine some meaning out of the pool.
Within a few days I realized that my heart space had been neglected and ignored to the point of being almost abandoned. I discovered the dark pool was black from the dirt that I was trying to wash out of my nous. How long had it been black? How long has my heart space been neglected?
The gravity of the dark pool took days to settle into my analytical brain. Its’ true meaning was always there, I had just been ignoring it for far too long. It was the font that I was baptized in. A way to cleanse the dirt and stains. It was my Psalm 51, “wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.”
I now had a new goal: to attain a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.